Airport security gone mad
“It’s the times we live in.” That’s what the police said, as they threw a passenger in jail for joking about blowing up an airport on Twitter. Paul Chambers was due to fly out of Robin Hood Airport in January, but a snowstorm had put his trip in jeopardy. He tweeted to his 600 followers: “C**p! Robin Hood Airport is closed. You’ve got a week and a bit to get your s**t together, otherwise I’m blowing the airport sky high!” His online friends clearly took these as the words of a frustrated passenger rather than a determined terrorist, but that’s not how the courts saw it. Chambers was convicted of sending a menacing message and ordered to pay £600 costs, a £385 fine and a £15 victim surcharge. He also lost his job as a trainee accountant. No laughing matter.
So remember, a sense of humour isn’t welcome in an airport these days. Here are my top tips to avoid creating your own ridiculous security scare.
1. Don’t wear a T-shirt with a picture of a weapon on it.
You’ll be made to take it off. That’s what happened to a friend of the stand up comic Russell Brand on a flight out of America. The security staff took a strong line against the gun design on his T-shirt and refused to let him pass. As Russell says, it’s not quite clear where the danger lay. “It’s a drawing of a gun; it’s not a real gun. What did they think he was going to do? Shoot Bugs Bunny? Execute Henry’s Cat?”
2. Don’t hide a water pistol in your luggage.
It’ll be confiscated, even if it’s stuffed with sweeties rather than bullets. A 6 year old girl had her bags seized at Cape Town when staff spotted a pink plastic water pistol on the security scan. Kelly Vinnicombe and her mother had to register the super soaker as a firearm and have it checked by experts before she was allowed to return to Britain with her toy.
3. Don’t travel with honey
Another dangerous item – which sent two baggage handlers to hospital. They were investigating bottles of suspicious orange liquids at a California airport when they caught a whiff of the fumes and became nauseous. Doctors confirmed they were “just nervous” and the substance turned out to be honey.
4. Don’t stuff your shoes with batteries and shrapnel to make yourself look taller
It can’t be too comfortable, but that was the explanation given by a man at a Toronto airport when he was stopped with “suspicious materials” in his boots. Police feared he had stuffed them with explosives, but he was released without charge after convincing them that it was just a sneaky way of adding a few inches to his height.
5. Don’t let your lover jump the security barrier for one last kiss
Newark Airport was shut down after a man slipped through a security cordon whilst the officer on duty was taking a phone call. A bystander raised the alarm and there was a full scale alert that led to thousands of passengers being stranded for hours. The man was never found, but he was picked up by video cameras at the scene, embracing his girlfriend on the other side of the barrier and sauntering off with her, hand in hand. You can see the video below.
Birmingham Airport Hotels with parking
Booking an airport hotel with parking can be a convenient and cost effective alternative to using the official airport car parks. There are 7 hotels near Birmingham Airport with parking packages – including a night’s accommodation and airport parking.
Premier Inn Birmingham NEC/Airport
The Premier Inn is 5 minutes’ drive from Birmingham Airport. It has free parking for guests whilst they’re staying at the hotel and long term parking packages are available. They include a night’s accommodation for up to 2 adults and 2 children, a Grab & Go breakfast and long term parking, starting from £85 (price correct April 2010). It’s a 3 star hotel.
Arden Hotel and Leisure Club
This 3 star hotel has a large car park with 350 spaces. It’s free to use whilst you’re resident at the hotel and they offer 14 day airport parking packages. Longer stays can also be arranged. The hotel’s less than a mile from the airport. There’s no shuttle bus; a taxi costs about £6. There’s WiFi access available at the Arden Hotel, for a charge.
Crowne Plaza Birmingham NEC
The car park at the Crowne Plaza has controlled access gates and floodlights for security. It’s free to use overnight and long term parking packages are available. The hotel is 5 minutes’ drive from Birmingham Airport. There’s a shuttle bus which will take you to Birmingham International Train Station for free. Then you can take the free monorail to the airport. If you’d like to be dropped right outside the airport terminal the bus can do that for £1. There’s wireless internet at this 4 star hotel but there is a charge to connect.
Holiday Inn Birmingham Airport
This 3 star hotel is about a mile and a half from the airport. You can book a package that includes a night’s accommodation, parking for up to 15 days and airport transfers. There is a charge to use the wireless internet at the hotel.
Gables Hotel & Restaurant
Overnight parking is free and long term parking packages are on offer. This 3 star hotel is a mile and a half from the airport. They don’t have a shuttle bus and a taxi will cost about £10. There’s free WiFi in the public areas of the building.
Hilton Birmingham Metropole
This is a 4 star hotel which is 10 minutes’ drive from the airport. It has 700 spaces in its car park, which has been given the “Safe Park” award for secure parking. Long term parking packages are available. Deluxe rooms have internet access.
Ramada Encore NEC Birmingham
The 3 star Ramada is within walking distance of the airport terminal; it takes 5 minutes. Its car park is covered by CCTV. You can park there for free overnight and long term parking packages are available. There’s free wireless internet access throughout the building.